sonofdurin | we will all burn together [closed post]

The last thing Fíli sees in Arda is his uncle's face, frozen with fear and grief and horror, and he isn't running, of course he isn't running, he will not dishonor his nephew by turning away now - and Fíli is afraid, more afraid than he has ever been, but he looks back into Thorin's clear eyes and knows that he was loved, that his family will survive this, and he finds that he can almost bear the knowledge of his fate.

The last thing he hears in Arda is the sound of his brother's scream, and that would be much harder to bear, if he had any time left to endure it.

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He is moving at a great speed, far faster than any horse could run. Something rattles nearby, and perhaps he ought to look and see where he is, but opening his eyes seems like too great an effort.

There is no more pain.

He thinks perhaps he wanders, though he knows not where, nor for how long, and when he wakes it is to the sight of trees. The sheer wrongness of it all propels him to his feet in an instant, sends him scrambling for any weapon he can find, and it is only when his boot-daggers are in his hands that he bothers to stop and take in his surroundings. He is standing in the sun, beneath trees that do not grow on the slopes of the Mountain, and he is utterly alone.

I died.

Fíli's conscious mind flinches away from the thought, but the knowledge is unavoidable. He died, he remembers dying, and now he is... here. Wherever "here" is.

If this is the afterlife, he thinks, it is nothing at all like I expected.

These are not his Maker's Halls, and Fíli wonders, with a vague sense of hilarity, whether the Valar got mixed up in the chaos of the battle, and he is in the afterlife of Elves or Men, instead. It is certainly an afterlife, though, it has to be, because he feels no pain. If he was alive, he thinks, it would probably hurt.

It would hurt, and his brother would be with him, but Fíli knows with a bone-deep certainty that he is alone. He's never been alone before, not really - Kíli's always been somewhere nearby - and he thinks that, when he remembers how to feel again, he will probably hate it. His soul is screaming with his brother's absence, and all he can do is thank Mahal for that emptiness, because this is an afterlife and Kíli isn't here, Kíli is alive, and Fíli will gladly bear this pain until the end of days because it means his brother lives and he is... dead. He's dead.

All at once it is very hard to breathe. He stumbles backwards - falls - his knives slip from numb fingers - and he is on the ground, choking on tears, dead and abandoned and more alone than he has ever been.

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Every forest has a presence all its own. A way is smells and sounds and is. While Tauriel has not spent as much time in the forest here in Darrow as in her own Mirkwood she is familiar enough with it to sense when something is out of place. In this land she has learned that could be anything.

She was silent as she moved through the woods, a very part of the forest that now warned her of potential danger. As she neared whatever it was that had intruded on the forest she became less wary of whoever it was. Whoever it was, they were sobbing, the sound soft but unmistakable to her. She nearly turned back, thinking to leave whoever it was to their grief, when she caught a glimpse of them.

For a brief moment she thought it was him, that he had finally come to her in this place. But the figure shifted and moved just enough for her to see that it could not be her Kili. Though the build was similar the hair was far too fair for it to be him. The similarities were unmistakable though and while it was not her Dwarf, she knew this one all the same.

"Fili, of the line of Durin. Is that truly you? Where is your brother?"

The last rushed out of her before she could think to control her words. She should be elated that another of her world was here, but all she could think of was Kili.

The soft words barely penetrate Fíli's haze of grief, but some deep instinctive part of his mind notes, in an almost detached sort of way, that there is an elf standing nearby and addressing him by name. He hadn't even noticed their approach. Thorin would be so disappointed (except Thorin's never going to know, because Thorin's still alive.)

Thorin would also want him to stand, he thinks, but he is shaking too hard to make the attempt. Fíli dashes the tears from his eyes as best he can - for all it will make no difference in truth, the idea of admitting he was crying (even here, even now) still pricks at his pride - and looks up at his visitor.

One elf looks much like another to his eyes, but this one, at least, he knows - and in truth, he doubts he will ever forget her face. All things considered, she wasn't half bad; Fíli expects he will mourn her death later.

"It's truly me, Captain Tauriel. As to my brother" - twin instincts - to protect his brother and to lie in the face of questions posed by Mirkwood Elves - war briefly with the knowledge that such instincts are useless here - "I... I don't know." His voice breaks on that, but he thinks she will be kind enough not to mention it. "He wasn't with me when - We were... separated... in the battle. I believe he yet lives."

How would you know? a traitorous part of him whispers. You're in this strange green afterlife; if Kíli dies, he will go to Mahal and you will never know.

"You were separated as you journeyed down the river?" she asked, heart breaking. How was she to find Kili if their company had separated? The Morgul arrow that wounded him would surely end his life before long if he did not receive the healing he needed. She can hear the heartache in his own voice though, his own worry for his brother must be greater even than hers, though she is not sure how that could be so. It seems madness to worry so much for one she just met, but she cannot help it. Nor would she change it.

"The arrow that wounded him was no normal bolt. It was a Morgul arrow and will surely kill him if he does not receive the necessary healing. I left in pursuit of your group to lend what aid I could when I was brought here."

Brought here where she could do nothing to help her people or those who fought the evil that was poisoning their land. Seeing Fili here reminded her of perhaps how much she had forgotten and given up. Did she truly even seek to return to her world now? Or did she seek to find contentment in this place?

"You don't remember?" Even by recent standards, that's strange. Elves were supposed to have flawless memories, everyone said so. Of course, elves were also supposed to be the fairest of all races, so maybe the memory thing was an exaggeration as well. Or maybe she'd hit her head in the battle and forgotten, the way Fíli had that time he fell off the mountainside back in the Ered Luin.

"We made it to Lake-Town," he says. "You followed us there, you and that blond one, you... you saved my brother's life."

Something about the way she said 'brought here' tugs at his mind, and he frowns. She didn't sound like someone talking about her death, but... "Where is 'here', exactly?"

Tauriel could almost have wept with relief on hearing that she arrived in time to save Kili. Much as she tried to put it out of her mind these past few months, she would often dwell on it. Nothing here could be done about it but it was still difficult to not think of it.

"I am glad to hear that Legolas and I arrived in time. It is not that I have forgotten, it is that these events have not happened for me yet. This place takes people from all times and places. You are the only one I have met so far that is from our world. I am afraid you will find this world very different from our own."

"This world...?" He supposes that could be how the elves speak of the lands in the West, but it doesn't really seem likely. More likely is the idea growing in the back of his mind: that he is somewhere else (somewhen else?) entirely. And that is...

He'd thought being dead was bad enough, but this, oh, this is far worse. If he'd been dead, he could at least have comforted himself with the knowledge that he'd died to save his family, and if he'd been in... wherever elves went, surely his Maker would have realized it eventually and brought him home. If he's right, though, if he's been spared, he's been snatched away from his friends and his family and everything he's ever known, perhaps forever... and maybe he could have learned to live with that, too, except his brother saw him fall. The cost of his survival is that Kíli thinks he's dead, his life bought with the sorrow of the one person in all of Arda Fíli would have died to keep from grief.

Oh, nadad, I'm so sorry.

He turns his face away so she won't see the look he knows must be there, and says, very quietly, "What is this world, Captain Tauriel? I had thought it was the afterlife, but it seems I was mistaken."

"It is unlike anything I have heard of," she said, noticing his sorrow. She did not feel it was her place to ask of it, though she hoped that it was not for his brother. It was a selfish thing, to hope that Kili was safe when it could be any of the company that were in danger. But it was not just any of the company that she had feelings for, whatever they may be. It was Kili she felt for.

"It is not so much a world as it is a city and the surrounding area. If you try to leave, some magic prevents you and you find yourself walking back into the city. There are those here from worlds not our own, worlds that are so very different from ours. It is a truly confusing but sometimes wonderful place."

we will all burn together [closed post]

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